Caught by the fuzz

I was driving home from work today, wondering what I might blog about tonight.
I was listening to the Adam and Joe Podcast for Glastonbury (Day 3 - with the football commentry - very funny).

All of a sudden I noticed two police women in yellow high visibility vests stepping out into the road and the one in front was holding her palm out to tell me to stop. She was directing me into the car park of the pub she was stood in front of.

My first thought was that there was danger up ahead and they were protecting me. Then I thought maybe they were looking for someone and as I was sure I wasn't who they were looking for, so I tried to calm myself down. Then I thought I might be mistaken for who they were looking for so I started panicing again.

OK- the police officers didn't look like this, but 'safe search' is off on my google images and the internet has more images like this than of real police - damn you internet, grrr *shakes fist at the sky*

I pulled into the car park and turned the engine off - my heart was beating through my chest at the thought that I was in trouble. I thought of financial penalties, my family's reaction, my boss's reaction (it was a company car).

I opened the door and the police officer was coming towards me. She started what it turned out must have been a well rehearsed script for her day.

"Do you know why we stopped you today sir?"
"No" Luckily, I realised it was best not to start guessing things like:

• Am I drunk?
• Is it the drugs?
• The guns?
• The body in the boot?
  

"It was your mobile phone, sir"
I knew she was right - I was two models behind now on the iPhone and that must be some kind of offence in Cheshire.

My captor continued "This would usually mean a fine and points on your licence but what we're offering today is to raise awareness we would like to show you a film"

"Not Avatar is it?" I said "because I'd rather take the wrap"
"No, sir"
"Police Academy?"
"No, sir"
"Police Academy 5?"
"No!"
"Aw shame, well what then?"
"It's an information film to raise awareness of the dangers of driving"


I thought I was going to have to attend some speed course, I'd heard they do that these days. I thought I'd have to attend an evening class to watch this film but the police officer lead me back towards the road. They were going to show me it there and then.

Although I was already late home, I thought this was a pretty good deal so I said I'd go for it. I hesitated for a moment thinking I should phone home, but I couldn't find my phone and thought I probably shouldn't really mention my phone - it was the phone that got me into this trouble.

As we got to the road side I started my excuses.
"Not that I think this makes it okay, but I was only listening to a podcast"
*silence*
I continued to fill the silence "...so is that the same? I mean, it's just like the radio really isn't it?

"...except I suppose the radio is in a fixed place and I also have controls on my steering wheel so, no I don't.....suppose....

...podcast?"

"Pod? Cast? is that like texting is it?"
"No I'd just be sort of pushing play" I actioned pushing play on an iPhone for her.
"Well I don't think that would really make any difference, but you could try your chances appealing in court."
"No...I probably wouldn't"

I felt like I was moments away from her twisting my arm up my back and shoving my face into a police car bonet - so I shut up. I've seen the Traffic Cops documentary. I know what they're like.

Funny thing was, she was so young and so teeny that I would have quite liked the novelty of getting wrested by her. It would be like playing with the kids. I took this as a sign that I was getting old and shook it out of my mind.

She helped me cross the very busy road, which made me feel even older.
I thought at the time, this was much more dangerous than whatever I had been doing in the car as we had to stop in the middle of the road while large lorries passed either side. I should have offered to show her a video of the dangers of crossing the road when there was traffic speeding past.

"Is this film going to be gory?" I asked "Is it a shock thing?"
She didn't answer - I am sure she thought I talked too much and wanted me to fit into her two choice system - (1) watch the film or (2) take the punishment.
Further she only expected one answer - (1) Watch the film please.

Once across the road, I was directed to a van type vehicle, I went round the back and discovered about four other sheepish looking motorists.
Wow! I thought, it's true this campaign that I heard about so many people using their phone while driving. It was rife.
I later realised we were in for all sorts not just phoning, speeding, eating, unfashionable hair the lot.

I was relieved that the woman who was showing the films was a fire officer not a police officer. So I felt in slightly less trouble. I was also pleased that she beckoned me into the fold of naughty drivers without making me wait for the next showing.

The films were effective and I do think I needed to see them.
I was a bit fond of using my phone while driving and I am repentant.

Afterwards I filled out a form that asked if I would share the information with friends and family - I circled the box [MAYBE] and thought about Read Pole - so here are to two films I saw - just for you.


Back across the road I went and safely back to my car.

I wondered where my phone was and then I suddenly remembered. When I'd first seen the police woman, I knew I had my phone in my hand and without thinking I'd unplugged it from the lead that made the sound come out of my car and thrown the phone into the footwell.

Was I really prepared to lie to the police about having a phone?

I found the phone and unlocked it.
To my guilty surprise, I hadn't been pushing play on the podcast at all, of course I hadn't. I was already listening to it so I didn't need to press play.

What I was doing was having a look at any new followers I had on Twitter - which was completely unnecessary.

I do feel guilty that I'd got into the habbit of using my phone whilst driving. But what is worse, only a moment after getting caught, I had completely denied it to myself.

I drove home without even calling to tell my wife I'd been detained - I didn't even want the police to see me with the phone even in a safely parked vehicle.

This experience completely worked on me and I appreciate the police for doing it.
I hope one or two of you readers think again as well before picking up the phone while driving.